Humongous Hera Pheri

Today, for the better part of three hours i sat and mourned the death of hindi cinema. In other words,I saw Phir Hera Pheri. It was,without a hint of doubt,the worst movie I have ever seen,ever. It simply pained me to see that an actor of the calibre of Paresh Rawal would stoop to such abyssmal depths simply to eke out profits by deceiving movie goers into watching the worst possible sequel to a film which happens to be one of the most delightful comedies I have seen.If the last sentence seemed unbearably long to you,you should try sitting through 3 hours of this glorified piece of crap that i endured.Well,now to tell you why this movie would go down in the annals of Bollywood as the worst possible case of "Hera-Pheri" or fraud which the audience was subject to.First things first...the script was non-existent,the humour in the so-called jokes was non-existent,the coherence in the random incidents which made up the movie was non-existent,the director's grey matter was non-existent,his film making ethics were non-existent.To make matters worse,Himesh Reshammiya was singing in it. People might argue that with Mithun films around I shouldn't really be calling this one the worst piece of tripe i ever saw.I beg to differ.People know exactly what to expect from Mithun movies but what the director has done here is con the audience into watching something that was nowhere near what the movie promised. I just fail to understand why the director holds the intellect of the audience in such low esteem.The film is nothing short of an insult to the movie goer's intelligence...the director actually unleashes a man in a gorilla suit upon the audience. In an age when special effects have reached stupendous heights and such visual marvels like King Kong and Spiderman and LOTR are being churned out by Hollywood studios it amazes me as to how the director can present the audience with such travesty. Bipasha Basu was in the movie to do what Pamela Anderson and Yasmeen Bleeth did to make Baywatch famous.She must've got one hell of an exercise running for almost the entire length of the movie in clothes that could have given the tightest spandex a run for its money(it was the only high point of the movie for me...for that matter even Diya Mirza's wierd gyrations seem agreeable in retrospect). All in all it was really disappointing to see that when on one hand people like Ram Gopal Verma and Ashutosh Gowariker are trying to finally give contemporary Hindi movies a sense of direction,such bad apples like Neeraj Vohra are churning out movies which are so bad that they make even really bad movies look like Oscar winning material.